Instant thought...

What if this life is really the after life, and this is us, in hell, with our only last chance to redeem ourselves from our past life....
-Allison

Anger

I'm angry, although i do not know why.
Sometimes the feeling of breaking something invades my body and crawls up my spine like a little spider going up its web.
I say im tired, but im really not.
I'll tell you what i really am,
I'm annoyed.
I am not tired, if I think about it, I don't think I've ever been.
But there's something, something I can't stand.
And that's when people think they know me more than I know myself.
Its sweet, that you try to psycho analyse me...
But really you don't even stand a chance.
I barely know my own myself sweetheart,
How are you going to pretend like you can guess my every move...
so grab your thoughts and analyse yourself instead.
...
Yes I am angry, don't ask me why,
One can feel angry just as one can love.
Don't put  much thought into it, I'm just on fire.
I'm just angry, I was born to be angry. But instead of breaking, beating, destroying, cursing, revolving...
I don't have any other option than to love.
So tell me how anger is any different than love.
I'm just the contradictions of life manifested on a body on a soul, as a person. Solely and purely angry, but forced to love

-Allison Santana

Creativity of the week

Although it was the first week of my semester I promised I would continue to create, although I haven't written much... I managed to take a good picture and work on my zentangle. I am also enjoying my Chinese class a lot it is hard u.u, but one of my greatest fears was to be in the class and then realize I don't even like Chinese, but I do and the result (so far) is the opposite I feel like I like it more than I did before so I am feeling determined :D the tree is from my school and I used the Google+ filters to give it that goth/vintage look. The drawing I decided to call "close up scales" I actually worked on it during the weekend. And yeah thats my first paragraph ever written in Chinese and pinying ♥

Flowers

This is an old sketch I found today on my way to school, it was inside that little sketchbook I always carry around but rarely use. I have to say flowers are one of my favorite things to draw. When I'm bored, flowers and patterns are the best way to go, it prevents me from spacing out. Right now I'm waiting to go in for class, starts at 9:35. It sucks because I usually wake up around 6:00, today i woke up at 4:00 (its weird but that's how it is, if i work out before i go to sleep i wake up at 7:00) I always get ready really fast so I have to find ways to lag it before getting to school, today I only took the bus and skipped the trolley part, so I had to walk a few blocks through the downtown streets. Anyway tomorrow I go in at 11:35, but I take my classes on a different campus so the journey is time consuming. Anyway enough of my schedule for this semester this is the drawing and I hope I get to pass my mandarin class ♥

Foxes...

As I was surfing through Pinterest (part of my daily routine, after coffee) I realized how famous foxes are right now, its like every hipster wants to have a fox tattoo! Of course along with the infinity symbol and an arrow, or some quote from the bible. Well!, I thought to myself, might as well do something that has to do with foxes too! I simply can't miss on any trend... and so this is my latest two creations that I worked on during my lastttt weekend before the new school semester. Its funny how once I'm in school my inspirations goes right out the window. What I don't understand is why...I mean I try my best at school, you know, but its not like I invest all my energies on my classes, but then again riding the trolley and the bus in San Diego might as well be a job because G O D, it is time consuming!! X( having to deal with teenage girls breast feeding, high schoolers trying to be "Hip" and hobos trying to get to downtown is No joke. To think that I have to ride two busses, and two trolleys just to get to my mandarin and philosophy class takes all the eagerness of learning away from my poor hungry soul. Anyway hope this isn't the last report to my unpopular blog that only I read, in a long time. I promise to me that I will try to exercise my art skills more instead of waiting for vacations to finally have some interior peace and be able to lift up that pencil and that 5.5x8.5 sketchbook.
Anyway this is that. I just want to say that I have never taken art classes and that's why my acrylic skills suck so much, but I dig them foxes that I drew so the fact that they might look deformed or, like my little brother said, and I quote "it looks nothing like a fox, it looks like a furry six" anyway bad criticism is irrelevant to me , Why?, cause I'm a rebel :) anyway I have the original fox, and the one I did and I have my painting of acrylic which is the one with the branches. I also included on the picture the "art tools" that I used, which are not professional, cause' ain't nobody got time for that...

Ganisha goddess of wisdom

      Ganisha is a widely worshipped god in Hindu religion (you might have seen it before in pictures, tattoos, movies etc.) According to wikipedia Ganisha is the "remover of obstacles, patron of the arts and sciences, and deva of intellect and wisdom". Similar to Greek mythology (nine muses of art and inspiration) Ganisha is the god you would thank to, and ask for inspiration in the arts, such as writing, painting, sculpting and so on.

"Why an elephant head?"
      Because of her elephant head she is easy to identify amongst Hindu gods. I read somewhere that the main reason why she looks like an elephant is because elephants are peaceful animals, although they are big and strong their nature is not violence. Elephants are matriarchal species that take care of old elephants and baby elephants and the eldest female of the pack is the one that guides them through their  journeys. Elephants also have their own rituals of funeral and all this distinctive characteristics is what make them seem as if they had greater intelligence than other animals. Although I'm not sure if this is true I know that elephants are widely known for their memory and loving personality. Because of this attributes that makes this mammals so distinctive and peculiar I believe is why Ganisha is expressed this way (as an elephant looking god).

"Why is she missing a tusk?"
      In Hindu religion, most of their religious art has a meaning that's meant to signify something. The tusk is supposed to be a symbol of letting go (or so I heard) as well as cleansing and getting rid of bad vibes. For example the tusk is supposed to represent strength because for elephants it is almost like a hand.

Although I am not sure of this info, again I don't want to make anybody furious, I am well aware of the danger this symbolisms have created for REAL ELEPHANTS I'm not saying Ganisha isn't real but it is a man made image and symbol that sadly has endangered elephants habitat. Because elephants are so mighty and beautiful, their tusks have been used for centuries to make pieces of art for many religious rituals and art decoration. It is so sad because from my personal perspective it goes completely against the Hindu and Buddhist teachings of mindfulness, respectfulness, and knowledge that many of the people who buy this "ritual tusks" are supposed to be following. It makes my heart ache to see those things because I don't think there is a god out there  who would gratify the slaughter of any animal in such a way just for rituals, charms, decoration etc. Regardless of that I invite you to research more about this peculiar god.

The one below is my own representation of Ganisha, again I inspired my drawing on another artists piece. I made mines more feminine and made it into a white elephant with small tusks. I included a lotus because the symbolism of a lotus is so beautiful too (the struggle of blooming, and coming up to be something beautiful regardless of the struggle, blooming from the mud and overcoming all odds) Enjoy and again always create regardless of criticism towards your own art. At the end what is beauty but a definition made by people and not the greater knowledge. Create your own definition of beauty everyday, and don't forget to be happy.

The mysterious Buddha

This is a Buddha I really liked and decided to draw. The original piece is the grey looking one. Mines is the sepia. It is edited in order to look darker since ( I just want to throw that out there) I ain't got the best camera. I don't have a favorite piece, I think I like both, personally I feel like mines looks more feminine, and his eyes look more cartoonish. I feel like the original has a more mysterious feel to it, almost nostalgic. On the other hand I couldn't achieve that with mines, regard less of that I was satisfied with the end result.
      (I had t to try this drawing two times until I was satisfied with the result) another thing I did not erase at all because if you do once you shade sometimes it is noticeable. My favorite part of my drawing is the nose, I like how I did the shading. My favorite part of the original drawing is the eyes! The look so pretty and have sentiment to them.

     So that is two pieces, alike but not the same. Both beautiful, I just wish I knew the name of the artist from the original piece :"(